I would’ve never guessed that one day the word rebel would be used to describe me. It’s Tuesday 23rd Nov at 11:44 and I’ve just taken The Four Tendencies Quiz and found out that I’m apparently a rebel. I read my report and it actually makes so much sense and is among the most important discoveries I’ve made about myself this year. Before I explain why this is true and how having this information is super beneficial, let me start with the backstory that led to this revelation and give a short explanation about The Four Tendencies.
Do you sometimes have trouble sticking to & performing a certain behaviour, routine or action? Or do you find it easy to do these things? Or is it a mixture of both? For example, I changed my daily routine recently and added some things I wanted to do more of and omitted those I’d like to do less of. I’ve been having trouble sticking to this new routine and I didn’t seem to understand why since I’ve always been a routine oriented girl. This is what led me to discover The Four Tendencies, a personality framework by Gretchen Rubin which is based on how we respond to expectations.
We have two sets of expectations, internal and external. Internal expectations come from within and are intrinsically motivated, for instance ‘I need to drink more water’ or ‘I want to be accomplished in my career.’ External expectations come from others and are extrinsically motivated, for example ‘I need to finish this project by Friday morning,’ or ‘Mom asked me to wear a dress for this function.’ Knowing how we respond to both sets of expectations helps us know how to set & achieve goals and can help us make sense about why those around us do what they do.
The four ways in which people meet expectations determine their tendency. The tendencies are divided into upholder, rebel, obliger & questioner. The upholder meets both internal and external expectations; they do what others expect of themselves and what they expect of themselves. The rebel resists both internal and external expectations; they do things in their own way and if anyone or even themselves make them do something, they’re less likely to do it. The obliger meets external expectations but not internal; they do what they have to do and don’t like disappointing others but may let themselves down. The questioner meets internal expectation but not external; they do what they think is best according to their own judgement -if it doesn’t feel right or make sense, they won’t do it. (find out your tendency)
What Does My New Rebel Status Mean For Me?
Being a rebel means that I prefer to and choose to act from a point of freedom and choice. I wake up and the first thing I ask myself is what do I want to do today? Do I want to wake up early? Do I want to have a healthy breakfast? As a rebel, I place high value on self-determination and authenticity. I work towards my goals in my own way and often steer away from doing what I’m ‘supposed’ to do.
In fact, I can be very frustrating to others when they ask me to do something that I either don’t want to or that is misaligned with my values and identity. Being a rebel, I resist control, even self control and sometimes enjoy defying expectations and rules. In fact, I frustrate myself a lot because even I can’t tell myself what do. For the most part, I don’t respond well to nagging, supervision, monotony, reminders, micro-management or directions (especially those I didn’t ask for). However, as a rebel, it’s important to remind myself that I can do anything I choose to and that I seek to live up to my identity and values.
In order to inspire myself to act on or fulfil a certain expectation, I need to find a direct link or appeal to my identity. The identity can be anything from ‘I’m a flexible person,’ to ‘I’m a good friend,’ to ‘I’m well organized,’ to ‘I’m a successful entrepreneur.’ Since I value my identity of being organized, I can use it to fuel my desire to solidify my daily routine.
The strategies for habit change that appeal to me as a rebel are those of identity, clarity and other people. In order to create lasting habit change for myself, I need to apply each of these strategies. For instance, I could:
Consider how solidifying my new daily routine allows me to be my true self – I’ve always been a routine girl, I like to be organized and have a seamless flow within the day. (Strategy of Identity)
Focus on why I want to solidify this new routine – it’ll allow me to find more time for things that matter, it’ll help me increase in discipline & productivity, it’ll help me use my phone less (Strategy of Clarity)
Create my routine in a fun unique way that sets me apart from others (Strategy of Other People)
By understanding ourselves and how our tendencies shape our perception and behavior, we can adapt circumstances to suit our own nature. If you’d like to find out your tendency, you can take a test here. Once you find out your tendency, it may be tempting to compare yourself with others and even imagine how better off you would be if you exhibited a different tendency. Comparison is the thief of joy and rest assured, trying to change your tendency or denying it will cause you more misery than joy. Every tendency has its own strengths and weaknesses. In order to be happier and more successful in our response to expectations, it’s best to learn our tendency, embrace it and work with it for our best results. Take The Four Tendencies Quiz and let me know what tendency you fall under and what that means for you!
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