We often find ourselves holding on to things that no longer serve us even when we don’t know that we are. We hold on to jobs, beliefs, people, values, goals, habits, physical possessions and so much more that doesn’t serve us. Why? Mainly because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing a part of yourself, fear of losing our identity. We fear that we might lose ourselves, have an empty space where what you let go of was sitting, and that we might not know how to move forward following that loss. The truth however, is that the space will be filled. Especially when you make the conscious decision to let go of what no longer serves you.
So how do you let things go? And what does it even mean? And how do we know when something no longer serves us? Generally speaking, it means letting go of things that are no longer useful to you. In order to know what’s no longer serving you, you have to first listen to yourself. Your intuition will tell you when something’s off or when you’re being taxed mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Ultimately, things that no longer serve you could be draining you mentally or emotionally, making you doubt yourself, serve no real purpose in your life, take away your energy and/or give you nothing in return.
In many instances, we hold on to things that no longer add value to our lives, goals from two years ago, goals that were subconsciously put on you but are not your own e.g: wanting to be a lawyer but that’s not where your heart is at. Letting go of these things while it seems scary, is ultimately for our own good since we will be making space for things that serve us now and things we need to realize our current goals and potential. Since it’s the new year, many of us have goals in mind that we’d like to achieve and holding on to things that aren’t aligned with them will only make realizing your goals harder. Here’s a few tips that can help you let go.
Take Inventory
The first step to letting go of what no longer serves you is taking inventory of different parts and elements of your life like beliefs, physical possessions, habits, relationships, commitments, goals, obligations, values, connections, etc. and make a list from any or all of these categories. As you do that you’ll notice that you may be holding on to goals or beliefs that served you as a teenager or in your early twenties but no longer make sense for you now. Purpose to remove a certain percentage from that list, maybe 30% and go with your gut, crossing them out on paper and in real life.
Reflect On Your Past Lives
Since birth, most of us live at least four lives in a lifetime: childhood, adolescence/early adulthood, mid/’settled’ adulthood, aging-death. In each of these lives, there are many points of change which can lead you to a new life. For instance, I realized wanting to be a doctor was one of those imposed dreams and goals that I thought were my own. I mean, I even had the grades to get me into medical school but I realized that at the end of my teenage years that wasn’t what I wanted. Write a letter to your past selves and forgive yourself and let go of any guilt you may be harboring for changing the direction of your life. What are your points of change? How have they led you to a new life?
Compare Desire vs Duty
Look at every aspect of life and reflect on whether you’re doing the things out of desire or duty. Look at the role of duty in your life. What’s so great about it? Does it serve you? Does it flow from love? Does it bring creativity, fulfillment, happiness and love? Take another look at desire. Do you feel like it has no place in your life? Or like it has to take second place in your life? Realize that duty and desire can co-exist. In fact it’s even better when they do because you do things with the passion of desire and the due diligence of duty.
Write A Letter To Someone In Your Past
Maybe you need to forgive someone, explain yourself, apologize, or say thanks to someone you’ve lost touch with or you’ve intentionally let go. Write from the heart, don’t hold back and be raw, honest and real. You may find there are things you didn’t know you wanted to say. Say them. Read over the letter and whether you decide to sent it out or not is totally up to you. You can burn it, delete it or send it. Maybe you just need to release it.
Actively Put In The Work
This can look like cleaning out your space, taking initiative to work o your new goals and let the old ones go, donating your clothes (or taking them to 25SW4P), getting rid of dying plants, watch a movie that’ll make you cry in a good way, do a tech detox, brain dump everything in your head into a paper. Whatever you need to do to release and let go, do it. Start by starting.
I hope this post helps you reflect on what you need to let go of and ultimately pushes you to try. I promise it’ll be worth it!