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Writer's pictureWendy Matheka

What We Owe To Ourselves

If you interact with my content here or on Instagram, or with similar content, chances are self-care, self-love and self-improvement are important to you. You could just be starting out or you could be deep into it. Either way, there are some habits that are essentially self-care that we hardly ever talk about. It’s the hard parts of this journey but they’re also the most important ones in order to stay rooted and grounded positively on this journey of self while also staying far away from self-sabotage.


Self-care, self-love and self-improvement don’t come naturally to many of us. Let’s be real, all of these aspects of self require work and dedication and when we’re busy, they can easily fall to the bottom of our priority list because we feel like we don’t have the energy to practice any of them. Despite knowing and experiencing how good growing on this journey makes us feel and how full our hearts are after practicing self-care, it gets hard.



If we’re really honest with ourselves about why we fail to practice self-care, love and improvement on a regular basis, you’ll realize that more often than not, the lack of time and energy is self-imposed. I mean we find time to scroll on social media even on our busy days so when we say we’re too busy for self-care, it’s more likely that we’re making excuses for ourselves. That’s where what we owe to ourselves comes in. There are three key habits that if we neglect, end up negatively impacting our self journeys and relationships with self-care.


Boundaries, self-discipline and consistency. The three key self-care habits and behaviors that make a significant impact on your relationship with self. If you’re feeling a strain with self-care or like you’ve fallen out of your usual habits, chances are you’re neglecting one of these. Let’s be real though, working on these habits is not fun at all. Never in all my life have I heard someone say “let’s work on our boundaries (or self-discipline or consistency), it’ll be fun!” They’re not fun and that’s why it’s so hard working on them. However, as you keep at it, they become easier and borderline fun as you’re able to make more time and energy for things you enjoy and are priorities.



Practicing discipline means prioritizing what you need in all aspects of life and not pushing them away for instant or short-lived gratification. It’s saying no to temptations that will lead you away from your goals and giving your future self a chance to be grateful for your actions and assertion. It’s about staying the course and sticking to your boundaries (personal or otherwise) and not letting things slide. When you practice self-discipline in your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, environmental and recreational needs, you also grow in self-respect.


Setting boundaries with yourself and others is how we protect our energy, sanity and time. I believe setting and reinforcing your boundaries is actually an act of love. You love yourself enough to protect yourself and love others enough to help the relationships thrive without hurting each other or letting it fade. When you’re clear about your boundaries and make the effort to stick to them, you allow yourself the grace to focus on your own needs and anyone who’s not aligned will bounce.



When you practice consistency with your actions and habits as well as when you’re working on discipline and boundaries, self-care and all round self-wellness and improvement become second to nature. It becomes easier to engrain self-care, self-love and self-improvement practices into your routine. So instead of taking care of yourself being a random occurrence, consistency helps it become a part of your lifestyle.


I hope this post sheds light on what you may be lacking in your journey with self. Let me know how self-discipline, boundaries and consistency come to play in your life or how you may be struggling with any of these. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey and remember to take small and mindful steps daily to better your relationship with all aspects of self.


-All the love, Wendy xx

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